LIFE TIPS TO LIVE BY...

OUT of My Way

I'M ON vacation!

How many of you have people in your life who feel like it is their responsibility to tell you how to live your life, tell you what to do and change you?

I know I do!

And it seems like once I get rid of one, another one pops up out of nowhere.

I understand that some of them, like your parents, for example, do it out of love for you and because they have your best interest in mind, but besides them, there should be no one else allowed to do that ay shape or form.

I learned that people in this area are like children unless you set boundaries, they will walk all over you! And that's an unfortunate truth!

I always welcome advice. The more advice the better decision I can make since there are more things to consider, however guilt, bullying or psychological games of control like making you feel inadequate, put down, shameful or stupid has "DO NOT ENTER" sign written all over it.

When I notice someone crossing my "NO ENTRY" sign, I usually warn them; know that there is another sign around the corner that says: "DANGER AHEAD" and right after that "ENTER AT YOUR OWN RISK". If they decide to ignore those signs I provide a very important detail: "WILD ANIMAL AHEAD".

You see I have learned a very valuable lesson: It is my life to live, given to me by my Creator and it is my responsibility. The choices I make are my alone and I will face the outcome, whether good or bad.

If it turns out to be good than I can feel a sense of accomplishment and joy, if bad I evaluate, learn from it, have no one else to blame but myself and so I have to take the sole responsibility. It may feel rotten for a while but then, I try to change the circumstances, myself self or my way of thinking.

So, those individuals in my life who try to take over my given role, if uncompliant, eventually come across the uncaged LION I warned them about!

My life is my journey and I don't want anyone else to choose the path for me and tells me where I should GO!.

The best way to make my point is by treating your life as choosing a Vacation.

A. Set the destination

B. Gather as much info as you can

C. Chose if you want to go alone or take someone with you

D. Evaluate your resources

E. Chose what you want to see and accomplish

F. Make the decision

G. GO!

H. Have an Awesome Time

Of course no vacation goes without some obstacles on the way, but you deal with them as they come and you can decide what to do next.

But, if you allow another person to do it for you, than you have to do what they have planned and if something goes wrong you have no right to blame them or reason to complain because, you have given them the right to do so in the first place. In life there are No Refunds!!!

Places to see

people to meet

Do you ever feel: "I just want to be by myself"? "I'm done with people..."

Who doesn't right?...

If you like me, I need to decompress at least 2x per year. Otherwise, I am annoyed by everyone and everyone gets annoyed by me. So in order for myself and others to stay sane, I take long vacations.

Unfortunately, there are now about 7.7 billion people on earth.

Why is that important?

Well, it means that no matter where you go, you will eventually meet or be surrounded by humans. I came to the realization that I can run but I can't hide.

What does that have to do with anything?

Here is my point: In reality, we will never be alone, at least as long as we are alive. Even if you lock yourself alone in your living quarters, you have neighbors...

So, how can we cope with the fact of wanting to have some time for ourselves, being surrounded by people and yet have a relaxing and rejuvenating time?

I have to admit it doesn't come easy, but it is mostly in the perspective.

I realized, that when I change my perspective and focus on the opposite and not myself I get to enjoy my time.

It is not always the case because we all do need some time alone and if you can you need to do that for your own sake, but if you are surrounded by people, change of perspective is the MAGIC required.

When I was in my 20's I use to get angry and frustrated, but as I got older I got wiser and started to live by the "If you can't beat them, join them" principle.

Once I started to do that, my vacation time or the rejuvenating time has become a treasure chest full of rich, joyful, amazing, unforgettable experiences and memories, which no one can take away from me.

I have met so many interesting people with incredible life stories, seen unbelievably beautiful places, stayed in amazing accommodations, sometimes for free due to the amazing people I met on the way, and I noticed that my life perspective and enjoyment had increased incredibly as a result.

Not only so, but I have gained a lot of Life Skills like:

great people skill,
problem-solving skills,
critical thinking skills.

I also became more relatable, developed compassion, understanding, became more friendly, allowing people to be who they are, and my life became far more full and meaningful at the same time.

I have learned so much of world history, learned new languages, gained an understanding of various cultures which made me more relatable and on top of it all, my thinking became more flexible and open to different than mine ideas.

Now I LOVE to take vacations not only for the rejuvenating side of it but because there are so many more amazing places to see and people to meet.

Learn From

Your Past

Who has never made a mistake?

Please raise your hand!

I can assume you kept your hand down, and yet isn't it amazing that we expect ourselves and others to be and act perfectly?!

Wouldn't you agree that this is a horrible standard to live by?

But all of us in this area of our lives go to two extremes.

We either expect and hold ourselves to the standard of "perfection" while making our life miserable or, we live by "no one if perfect" attitude and promote irresponsible behavior while making others live a nightmare.

We also know we can't do it, and when we make a mistake we expect others to understand, but do we understand others and give them the same grace we desire?

So what's the lesson?

In order to live at peace with yourselves, you need to understand this crucial concept: "I and others will Never Be Perfect!"

The sooner you admit that the easier your life will be and the less stress you will have.

Not only because you will allow yourself to make mistakes but also allow others, and your understanding will in return produce their change of attitude toward you and acceptance of your mistakes.

There is a weird phenomenon that I noticed - worthy of taking into consideration; when we hold our self to a Perfection standard so do others, and we receive less tolerance from others when something goes wrong. But when we admit and laugh about our shortcomings others seem to let it go more easily.

If you haven't please try it out or observe it. You will find it to be 99% true.

I am a very goal-oriented "out of my way" kind of person, which is a great quality if used in the right direction and in the right circumstances. However, not when it comes to holding myself accountable. In those situations, I can become my own worst enemy, so I learned to chill and give myself grace.

From observing myself and others with this type of personality, I realized we make our own life difficult.

We start to compare ourselves to others, which makes us feel inadequate and less of a person, we start to gain our identity from the things we achieve and not who we really are, we try to please people - resulting in not living our life but daily trying to live up to their expectations, we put ourselves down which results in self-doubt and low self-esteem and eventually we feel like we no good and do not belong, which obviously all is a Big FAT LIE that we have been feeding ourselves.

So are you saying keep on making mistakes it all good?

No, not at all! Just the opposite, do your best all the time so you can take pleasure from it when it goes well and builds yourself up. It will help you build your confidence and respect yourself more.

But, when it doesn't come out the way you wanted or you see different results than desired, allow yourself to be human and treat it as a learning process. A tool that will help you in the future to make better or different decisions. Life is a learning process.

None of us is born knowing everything we need to do or how to do it. If we do not expect that from an infant why do we expect it from others and ourselves?

Each day for us is new, each day has new things to learn that we have not encounter before, so why do we expect to know it all. A 3 year old child knows how to walk you don't have to teach them, they know how to put one foot in front of the other, but yet they occasionally do fall, its a learning process in order to later on be able to do it automatically. But does it mean that if they become an adult they will never fall? Of curse not! So why do we treat our life and things we experience differently!

I'm going to share with you a GREAT SECRET my friend shared with me once day - which changed my life! He said:

Anette - CHILL OUT! Your are an AMAIZING PERSOSN!

So give yourself a chance to learn and enjoy your mistakes - LEARN FROM YOUR PAST!

face your fears

Who LOVES Action or Romance Movies?

Your answer is probably "I DO!

Whether you are a man or a woman, you probably like one of these if not both. But why do we like those movies and what do they have in common?

It's actually very simple, in both categories the main characters have to face their fears.

In Action movies, they face the physical aspect of it and in Love Stories the emotional.

Which movie are you the main character in?

What is the fear you have to face?

In order to live our life to the fullest we need to face our fears, otherwise, there is no thrill in this life, no adrenaline to carry us, no excitement. Life would be stale and boring if everything was nice and easy...

We are programmed to deal with and resolve problems. Each individual has the ability to overcome, we are able to adjust to any circumstances or change them. Each one of us is free to make decisions and act on them, so if you say to yourself I can't, you just made the decision that it is easier to stay where you are at and that changing your circumstances requires too much work which you are not willing to put into.

If it was really that bad, you really had enough or were fed up and if you would really want it badly enough, you would do anything to change it.

We are motivated to act on our circumstances by various things like:

anger
fear
desperation
love
desire
finances

What is your main motivator?

Depending on which one is of major importance to you, it will prompt you to act.

Consider any situation in your life when you wanted something bad enough and got it. What were you willing to do? Did you have fear, YES, but did you give into it NO, if you did, you would not get it, so the wanting overshadowed the fear. It is like that in every area of our lives.

I absolutely love the line from a movie Will Smith did with his son, titled "After Earth". He says something very profound and so true to his son: "Danger is real, Fear is not Real... It is the product of our imagination, causing us to fear things that do not at present and may not even exist... Now do not misunderstand me, danger is very real, but fear is a choice"...

So I leave you with this: You can be a Hero -"the choice is yours...."